The older I get the more I hate the holidays, as a child I could not what for the holiday season. I remember candy crazed Halloweens, followed by a boisterous family filled Thanksgiving with all the relatives, cozy Christmas gatherings, and the giant family dinner celebrating the fact that we made it through to another year. Now I sit and wonder when the holiday fights will start and how badly they will ruin the holiday. This last weekend was Halloween; it started out with a lovely argument, concerning whom we were doing what, with, and when. We usually spend the entire holiday season in a cycle of arguing, not speaking, and finally getting over it. At least until the next round of arguments, they should start any day now. It was not always this way, not until our daughter came along, with her birth came the struggle to maintain equal time with both of our families. In the past before her birth, if my husband wanted to attend something scheduled with his family, that was to conflict with my family’s event, we went our separate ways. Since our daughter’s birth, I am unwilling to allow her to miss holidays with my family. My husband’s family waits to schedule their events until the last minute, while my family plans, a month ahead around everyone’s schedule. Then my mother-in-law throws at least one baby fit, because things are not going according to her plan, and no one has any clue what the plan is. This last year at Thanksgiving, we decided it was not worth the fight and had Thanksgiving dinner at home, just the three of us. I wish we could rationally discuss and decide all holidays that easily, instead of telling him his mom’s a stupid (fill in the blank), and that I do not want to deal with her lies or drama. Well, I am done; I appreciate the chance to rant, without the ensuing argument.
Holidays can be stressful. I would think there would have to be some sort of a compromise. I know in our family, Christmas Eve is spent with my husbands family and then Christmas Day is spent with my family. We have done this for years and it works. We don't even discuss where we are going or what we are doing because it is the same. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteI am going to use your post as an education for my future. My son just proposed to his girlfriend, so I know there is a possiblity of them being in your situation in the near future. I hate that you feel the way you do especially because it can be avoided with proper planning and understanding what you are going through. Thanks for sharing your true feelings and helping me to make wise choices in the future.
ReplyDelete